Yours cautiously, isobel

14 February 2023

First dates can be tough.  Often filled with jeopardy, they are nerve-ridden moments where the stakes are high and the expectations often low. But how do we know if the date’s going to be a hit or a miss – a thumbs up or just downhill all the way?

Thats why this year, in celebration of all-things cupid-shaped and romantic we’ve decided to swap red roses for red flags and come up with our top 20 character-cues to alert-first daters that they are on a mission impossible.

Velcro wallets, no socks with shoes and referring to their mother as ‘mummy’ all make the cut. As does having a pet Instagram, riding a folding bike and clapping when the plane lands! And at number 20? Not knowing what a red flag is…

“I guess we could be accused of being contrary – but we thought it would be fun to poll the office and come up with an alternative take on Valentine’s Day” says Jamie Williams. “Think of it as our gift to a nation of first-daters.”

Top 20 First Date Red Flags:

1          Clapping when the plane lands

2          Calls their mum, mummy

3          Kissing their mum on the lips

4          Wears Lynx Africa

5          No socks with shoes

6          Gym selfies

7          Has an Android phone

8          Velcro wallets

9          Having a pet instagram

10        Partaking in a conga line

11        Doing a baby voice

12        Saying you’re 6ft

13        Rides a folding bike

14        Referring to themselves in third person

15        Winking

16        White jeans

17        Sees a life coach

18        “Hun”

19        Asking “what’s your star sign?”

20       Doesn’t know what “red flags” are